Babymooning...

So here we are...almost at the end of our pregnancy with our precious little boy. It's hard to believe that this will most likely be the last time I am pregnant and I am trying to enjoy it as much as possible.
With Pea, I wished a lot away, I was so uncomfortable at this stage I just wanted it to be over, I wanted my baby and I wanted my body back. Don't get me wrong I am excited to meet our baby but I don't need my body back and I don't want my pregnancy to be over....yet. I feel surprisingly good, I love the kicks, I love my belly, and I love sharing the pregnancy with Pea.

When Pea was born everything felt rushed, I called everyone I knew because I wanted to share the joy of my new baby with them. I thought that was what I needed, I thought that was what I wanted. I don't remember a lot of it, I was pretty drugged up from the c-section and super tired from the all night labour. I remember the nurse trying to latch Pea on and feeling uncomfortable, I remember her pulling down my shirt and shoving my boob in Pea's mouth in front of an audience. I passed my baby around before I'd even held her an hour. The photos show family members and friends holding her while I was falling asleep sitting up in the back ground. There is one photo of me holding her in the hospital, this breaks my heart.

There wasn't much rest for those 3 days in the hospital, except for at night time when visiting hours were over and Pea cried all night which meant we got no sleep and it all left me begging to go home. Of course I wanted to get out of the hospital but I also wanted to lock myself up in my house and mend. I felt guilty, why wasn't I enjoying showing my baby off? The amazing feeling that mothers talk about after birth, the overwhelming love, the strong bond wasn't there for me, what was wrong with me? I mean don't get me wrong, I waited for Pea for 9 months, I loved her, I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world (still do! Totally biased though ;) ) but the feeling I had anticipated for months, the moment I had been waiting for just wasn't what I expected. I left the hospital feeling worn out, longing for time with just my baby and I to get to know each other.

Over the past few years as Pea has grown so have I, I have done a lot of soul searching which has been both hard and rewarding. I have asked myself truly and honestly what I need and what my family need, I have researched and I have listened to my intuition (it's rarely wrong). My husband and I have had long talks about what our family needs and we have come to the conclusion that what we need for this baby's birth is a babymoon.

Perhaps you are wondering what a babymoon is? A babymoon is a period of adjustment after a baby's birth where there are no visitors. Midwives suggest it and mothers around the world do it, unfortunately it is not very common in our society. It is intended so that the family can bond and the mother can heal. We are finding this to be a difficult subject, we don't want to hurt our family and friends, we don't want anyone to think this is about them, it is ONLY about us and what our needs are. Birth is a sacred time, it is an intimate time and it is a major life adjustment. It is exciting yes, we understand how hard it is to wait to meet a baby, after all they are so precious, but we want to enjoy sharing our baby with everyone we love, which means we need time first. We will notify our family and friends when our son has made his arrival but we will not be taking visitors that day, and probably none for a few days following the birth, however as soon as we are up for visitors our families will be the first to visit, followed by our friends, please allow us to be flexible because we do not know yet how we will be feeling. I understand that this post may come as a shock to some, maybe some will be upset with us and for that we are sorry, that is not our intention.

I'm not sure that there is more to say, this has been a hard post to write because we would like to clearly communicate our needs while being respectful of our loved ones. Thank you for reading and respecting our wishes even if they are hard to accept.